Well i think all the chat about validation is nonsense, Heard it all before and it simply boils down to the fact that a cheater does not love their wife or girlfriend because you don’t hurt those you love. Its that simple and they can wrap it up in all this touchy feely nonsense and it boils down to what I have said.
I don’t think a lot of men realise the devastation that their selfish act heaps upon others like their children. My childhood was blighted because of my father constantly cheating. I am sure it has affected the way I see things today as an adult also. But as long as they can get their leg over that’s all that matters.
With men, cheating is never about love, if it’s about merely having a woman this night, and then choosing another another night and so on. It’s about being a conqueror. There is no love in their sexual acts. They love to be hunters, and that is the primary reason they cheat. Not because their wives or girlfriends are woosies, but because they have mammoth sized ego’s that need to be fulfilled.
A man may also cheat because he’s horribly insecure and needs validation from another woman (or man). This then would be the opposite of the ego being mammoth, this would be the little squirt who never really let go of Mommy, and needs someone to suckle on. Very sad, but true.
If a man is stupid enough to have an affair, which, in my opinion, is different to cheating, as then he’s entered into a whole different realm, then, if he’s married with children, he’s just a complete selfish twat, and needs a bitch slap. Those kinds of men can’t be helped, they have crossed the line of no return.
If a woman decided to take her man back after he’s cheated, it doesn’t make her ‘weak’, it simply means she understands HIS weakness and she loves him. People do stupid things when in love.
But not to go on, as I could get boring…..
Men cheat for only 2 reasons;
Ego, or non Ego….conqueror, or the conquered.
It’s that old chestnut where men can get away with murder usually aided and abetted by women and society at large. Imagine if a woman had dome what Bill Clinton did and was unfaithful and lied about it to the basically the whole world. The would not have had a career. Yet he goes on and now is one of the good old boys being wheeled out every now and then and treated withe deep respect.
Friend of mine says he is unfaithful because he can get away with it. Hes so fat he looks more preggers than a woman at 6 months but apparently he goes to the gym a lot. He’s wife must be either stupid or she knows and is turning a blind eye because of the lifestyle they have.
Men cheat because they are disgusting selfish pigs. Its really that simple. I followed my husband to another womans house after suspecting he was being unfaithful for a long time. He kept denying it and denying it until I found him there naked with his whore. He has dome it 3 times to me since.
I had a friend whose boyfriend went out of his way to leave evidence that he was cheating so that they would break up but when she found out she told him she would forgive him lol. He didn’t expect that.
The men who have talked here come across as very selfish and weak in my opinion. It’s all about her and her and she did this and she did that. I mean really? Can you not take responsibility for your own actions like ever?
Men cheat because they have weak women. I’m not going to cheat on my lady because she is not weak, desperate or clinging on to me like her life is depending on it.
Ever heard of the scarlet letter? A woman would have to wear it around the village as punishment for cheating I don’t believe she cheated by herself but I don’t recall a similar punishment for the man.
oh yes how witty. When you dont have a proper response attack. Nature expecs more of women that is why you get pregnant and i don’t. therefore act as though you have the responsibility of bringing life into he world and raising it properly. This is why women are punsished more than men.
Oh of course women were punished in those days. Anything sexually wrong was deemed the womans fault and she would be sidelined and gossiped about for something her husband did while he would be seen as the big fella just doing what men do. Come to think of it, not much has changed.
I actually think in that sense things have got better in that yes it’s not good but it’s not this dirty secret that punishes the woman while the men get off scot free.
to be honest Bob I think that it did happen in the 60’s and 70’s and it was mostly men who cheated and women just put up with it to keep the family together and avoid the shame.
Women or men it doesn’t matter. Thers too much of it. In my day it was almost undeard of now all this bedhopping is normal. Look at any television show and all the characters are jumping from bed to bed. It wasnt like that in the 60’s and 70’s on television. Its all part of the general moral decline of our society.
So let me understand you. To man up in your eyes is to not require women to treat you with equal respect and when she doesn’t don’t say anything about it? Be a man and accept that how you feel does not matter.
i’m sorry to heat that but it just proves my point. Men need validation not just women. women will use the baby and hormove thing and men have no reply to it because we don;t matter do we because we don’t have babies. Women are validated constantly on tv but when are the men validated and told that they ‘re important too.
Okay I cheated. I read a lot of the comments and I don’t think they get to the crux of why men cheat although some comments (from men of course) touched on it. I don’t know why other men cheat but I can tell you why I cheated.
When I met my girlfriend she was really sexy and was all over me and we went out a lot and so on. We moved into together after about 3 months (yes probably way too soon but she wanted it and I wanted to so there it is). Fast forward to 1 year later and all the lovey kisseys are gone and she left her job and is hanging around at home all day, she wants a baby and starts getting all mopey because she has’nt had one yet. Sex is a baby making chore. I start to feel like I’m the DIY man the bill paying man and the baby making machine man. When I try and talk about it I’m being hard and don’t understand women.
How about someone understand men for a change? Why is it all about women and there hormones and we should all tip toe around them? I actually still loved my girl but when I met this other girl it reminded me of that first stage with my girlfriend. I did not want to cheat on her but I was really missing the fun bit of a relationship. So cut long story I went to where the fun bit was happening.
Don’t attack me for it because I tried and tried and was met with a brick wall of me me me. I always thought a relationship was about 2 people. Im a commnicative guy and I thought guys were meant to be the non communicative ones. My girl would’nt talk things through. What was I left to do?
Lol. Can’t get rid of me so easy, plus I see Miss Rachel is doing her sterling work of arguing with everyone so I knew the farm was in reckless but safe-ish hands!
Not for nothing but the Victoria Beckham bag on the 4th row would get my vote. Plus in an unrelated matter it’s nearly my birthday! Just putting it out there!
Sane blokes view here. You want to cheat? Then break up. Probably time to move on. Anything else is just being a coward, as is blaming your actions on anyone else.
I’m sorry Jon what was that Claire was saying about sounding pathetic? Earlier you justified cheating because what women wear a weave? You agreeing with higgins is not strengthening his argument.
Women being so fake is symptomatic of what ails society today. It is the general fakeness and dishonesty we have come to expect. How is cheating any different?
Thank you Jon J whatever you think of why I wrote it does not invalidate what I say. There is an awful lot of that going around today. When a man has something to say he is shouted down especial if he is a white middleclass male. My piont are very clear. There is a gender bias which allow women to be fake and distrustful and their behaviour pins men into a corner when they are damned if they do and damned if they don;t. To let off steam they cheat. Part of marriage is sex if you don’t want sex you shouldn’t get married. To get married all thin and pretty and promising the world and then become fat lazy and refuse sex is dishonest.
Women want it all but can’t bear the consequence of their actions. I am entitled to my opinion and eh question asked was why do men cheat. I have answered that question.
why do men cheat? Men cheat because they seek validation that they are not getting anymore from society. We are supposed to be the head of the households and yet we have been relegated to part time convenience fathers who have to pay for everything. Men cheat because the system is weighed against them. You have mothers who are easy and useless at child rearing being given all the help and the males have all their rights stripped from them so we cheat. Yes I have cheated and there was good reason. If you wife refuses to sleep with you of course you are going to cheat. What do you expect? Sleeping with your husband was supposed to be part of the contract. But once they get married all the rules change and the law and everything is on their side.
I suppose they cheat because they can get away with it. It will be more interesting to hear from men who actually have cheated. I think they will sound rather pathetic though.
Men and women are equally able to be cheaters and I think the reason is usually the same. A lack of communication and respect for the other person. I’m thinking that people don’t really talk to one another these days.
Men cheat becuase women cheat. They lie about there age they lie about there looks. no woman looks the same when you get her home at night . They go fake brests fake hair, fake nails , everthings fake. and then once there get you married they stop looking after themselves and get fat. OF corse mans gonna cheat.
Okay, I’m first today! Where do I start. Thats like asking why is the sky blue? Because it is. Men cheat because they can and they get with women that they know will let them get away with it. Its thats simple.
Eleanor Roosevelt said that people get treated the way they allow others to treat them. Allow a man to cheat, he will cheat.
Men cheat because women give them permission to.
I don’t get all this blaming women for what men do.
Hardly blaming. If your man acts like a dawg and you turn a blind eye then you deserve him. It’s not blame it’s fact.
Well i think all the chat about validation is nonsense, Heard it all before and it simply boils down to the fact that a cheater does not love their wife or girlfriend because you don’t hurt those you love. Its that simple and they can wrap it up in all this touchy feely nonsense and it boils down to what I have said.
I don’t think a lot of men realise the devastation that their selfish act heaps upon others like their children. My childhood was blighted because of my father constantly cheating. I am sure it has affected the way I see things today as an adult also. But as long as they can get their leg over that’s all that matters.
With men, cheating is never about love, if it’s about merely having a woman this night, and then choosing another another night and so on. It’s about being a conqueror. There is no love in their sexual acts. They love to be hunters, and that is the primary reason they cheat. Not because their wives or girlfriends are woosies, but because they have mammoth sized ego’s that need to be fulfilled.
A man may also cheat because he’s horribly insecure and needs validation from another woman (or man). This then would be the opposite of the ego being mammoth, this would be the little squirt who never really let go of Mommy, and needs someone to suckle on. Very sad, but true.
If a man is stupid enough to have an affair, which, in my opinion, is different to cheating, as then he’s entered into a whole different realm, then, if he’s married with children, he’s just a complete selfish twat, and needs a bitch slap. Those kinds of men can’t be helped, they have crossed the line of no return.
If a woman decided to take her man back after he’s cheated, it doesn’t make her ‘weak’, it simply means she understands HIS weakness and she loves him. People do stupid things when in love.
But not to go on, as I could get boring…..
Men cheat for only 2 reasons;
Ego, or non Ego….conqueror, or the conquered.
Bless the mess.
It’s that old chestnut where men can get away with murder usually aided and abetted by women and society at large. Imagine if a woman had dome what Bill Clinton did and was unfaithful and lied about it to the basically the whole world. The would not have had a career. Yet he goes on and now is one of the good old boys being wheeled out every now and then and treated withe deep respect.
Exactly. Couldn’t agree more.
Friend of mine says he is unfaithful because he can get away with it. Hes so fat he looks more preggers than a woman at 6 months but apparently he goes to the gym a lot. He’s wife must be either stupid or she knows and is turning a blind eye because of the lifestyle they have.
I notice you said husband and not ex husband.
I noticed that too. What do you expect if you keep letting him do it? You’re just giving him permission so deal with it.
Oh so it’s my fault if a man can’t keep his pants on?
If you don’t like the way you are bind treated divorce him.
‘being’
It’s your fault for giving him permission at least 3 times.
Men cheat because they are disgusting selfish pigs. Its really that simple. I followed my husband to another womans house after suspecting he was being unfaithful for a long time. He kept denying it and denying it until I found him there naked with his whore. He has dome it 3 times to me since.
Lol this has been a real insight to men.
Some men not all men.
Agreed. Some men.
And some women!
I had a friend whose boyfriend went out of his way to leave evidence that he was cheating so that they would break up but when she found out she told him she would forgive him lol. He didn’t expect that.
Sometimes the relationship is just over and it’s an easy way to get out of it.
Ah, spoken like a true man!
Ey? What you talking about? This can just as well apply to women as for men.
Fair enough. Either way its cowardly.
The men who have talked here come across as very selfish and weak in my opinion. It’s all about her and her and she did this and she did that. I mean really? Can you not take responsibility for your own actions like ever?
Oh and thank you for making shopping for my lady easy as pie. No man I know likes to shop. I come here, I press a button and she’s happy 😉
Men cheat because they have weak women. I’m not going to cheat on my lady because she is not weak, desperate or clinging on to me like her life is depending on it.
As Juiia said take responsibility for your own actions
I did by marrying a strong woman.
Goldsmith I have my doubts you have ever spoken to a woman in the flesh.
I have to get the hubster to come to this page. I have about 10 things lined up for my next birthday!
Ever heard of the scarlet letter? A woman would have to wear it around the village as punishment for cheating I don’t believe she cheated by herself but I don’t recall a similar punishment for the man.
nature expecs more of women and so do I.
Goldsmith I have my doubts you have ever spoken to a woman in the flesh.
oh yes how witty. When you dont have a proper response attack. Nature expecs more of women that is why you get pregnant and i don’t. therefore act as though you have the responsibility of bringing life into he world and raising it properly. This is why women are punsished more than men.
Slight exageratin to say that woman is punished how is the woman punished. Pissed off yes but punished?
Oh of course women were punished in those days. Anything sexually wrong was deemed the womans fault and she would be sidelined and gossiped about for something her husband did while he would be seen as the big fella just doing what men do. Come to think of it, not much has changed.
I actually think in that sense things have got better in that yes it’s not good but it’s not this dirty secret that punishes the woman while the men get off scot free.
to be honest Bob I think that it did happen in the 60’s and 70’s and it was mostly men who cheated and women just put up with it to keep the family together and avoid the shame.
Women or men it doesn’t matter. Thers too much of it. In my day it was almost undeard of now all this bedhopping is normal. Look at any television show and all the characters are jumping from bed to bed. It wasnt like that in the 60’s and 70’s on television. Its all part of the general moral decline of our society.
So let me understand YOU. To be a man is to cheat on a woman who is obviously depressed because she can’t conceive your child?
Touche – and thats another thing my girlfriend would do, answer a question with a question so we never got anywhere in a conversation.
Sounds like you men can’t decide whether you want to be the men of the house or the women.
Sounds like you women can’t decide if you want men to be robots that pay the bills or equal real people who equally have feelings.
I like a man to be a man if thats what you mean. The term man up is there for a reason.
So let me understand you. To man up in your eyes is to not require women to treat you with equal respect and when she doesn’t don’t say anything about it? Be a man and accept that how you feel does not matter.
At least he admitted to it.
wait a minute while I call The Olympic Board so they can give him a medal.
hormone
i’m sorry to heat that but it just proves my point. Men need validation not just women. women will use the baby and hormove thing and men have no reply to it because we don;t matter do we because we don’t have babies. Women are validated constantly on tv but when are the men validated and told that they ‘re important too.
Thanks mate you get it.
Okay I cheated. I read a lot of the comments and I don’t think they get to the crux of why men cheat although some comments (from men of course) touched on it. I don’t know why other men cheat but I can tell you why I cheated.
When I met my girlfriend she was really sexy and was all over me and we went out a lot and so on. We moved into together after about 3 months (yes probably way too soon but she wanted it and I wanted to so there it is). Fast forward to 1 year later and all the lovey kisseys are gone and she left her job and is hanging around at home all day, she wants a baby and starts getting all mopey because she has’nt had one yet. Sex is a baby making chore. I start to feel like I’m the DIY man the bill paying man and the baby making machine man. When I try and talk about it I’m being hard and don’t understand women.
How about someone understand men for a change? Why is it all about women and there hormones and we should all tip toe around them? I actually still loved my girl but when I met this other girl it reminded me of that first stage with my girlfriend. I did not want to cheat on her but I was really missing the fun bit of a relationship. So cut long story I went to where the fun bit was happening.
Don’t attack me for it because I tried and tried and was met with a brick wall of me me me. I always thought a relationship was about 2 people. Im a commnicative guy and I thought guys were meant to be the non communicative ones. My girl would’nt talk things through. What was I left to do?
Men cheat for the same reason women cheat. They are unhappy in the marriage or just dirty b*stards! I don’t think it’s more complicated than that.
An although I can’t agree with everything Higgins said I see his point.
Hey Nell! *wave!* Well my tuppence is that men who cheat are straight cowards, women who cheat are disgusting also. Fact.
Lol. Can’t get rid of me so easy, plus I see Miss Rachel is doing her sterling work of arguing with everyone so I knew the farm was in reckless but safe-ish hands!
Lol.
Not for nothing but the Victoria Beckham bag on the 4th row would get my vote. Plus in an unrelated matter it’s nearly my birthday! Just putting it out there!
Oh no you di int!
Hey where you been? Thought they fired your ass!
Completely off topic, but the selection here is amazing.
Lol I’m not even that much of a bag person but I would happily scrap for that striped Dolce bag! Serious! 😀
Right? 😀
Oh and btw those Saks Fifth Avenue Balenciaga shades are rocking! I would happily have the BF cheat for those!
I rest my case.
Sweetheart I wish you would.
That was aimed at jon j dunno why it didn’t attach.
One is morally wrong and one is potentially cosmetically dubious at best. Lol.
Sane blokes view here. You want to cheat? Then break up. Probably time to move on. Anything else is just being a coward, as is blaming your actions on anyone else.
I’m sorry Jon what was that Claire was saying about sounding pathetic? Earlier you justified cheating because what women wear a weave? You agreeing with higgins is not strengthening his argument.
Women being so fake is symptomatic of what ails society today. It is the general fakeness and dishonesty we have come to expect. How is cheating any different?
Are you for real?
Wow! Alrighty then. I think higgins has issues that far exceed this convo! Just saying.
That does not invalidate the points he has made however.
Thank you Jon J whatever you think of why I wrote it does not invalidate what I say. There is an awful lot of that going around today. When a man has something to say he is shouted down especial if he is a white middleclass male. My piont are very clear. There is a gender bias which allow women to be fake and distrustful and their behaviour pins men into a corner when they are damned if they do and damned if they don;t. To let off steam they cheat. Part of marriage is sex if you don’t want sex you shouldn’t get married. To get married all thin and pretty and promising the world and then become fat lazy and refuse sex is dishonest.
Women want it all but can’t bear the consequence of their actions. I am entitled to my opinion and eh question asked was why do men cheat. I have answered that question.
The other thing I forget to add is that mens sexual needs are greater than womens. Shout me down but that is simple fact.
What a ridiculous assumption that mens needs are more than womens. Are you typing this from a cave?
of course they are.
why do men cheat? Men cheat because they seek validation that they are not getting anymore from society. We are supposed to be the head of the households and yet we have been relegated to part time convenience fathers who have to pay for everything. Men cheat because the system is weighed against them. You have mothers who are easy and useless at child rearing being given all the help and the males have all their rights stripped from them so we cheat. Yes I have cheated and there was good reason. If you wife refuses to sleep with you of course you are going to cheat. What do you expect? Sleeping with your husband was supposed to be part of the contract. But once they get married all the rules change and the law and everything is on their side.
I suppose they cheat because they can get away with it. It will be more interesting to hear from men who actually have cheated. I think they will sound rather pathetic though.
Why do women cheat? Why are we picking on the men?
I’m guessing because that is the topic of THIS conversation?
yes but wouldn’t it be nice to ask why women cheat for a change?
it would and if you go onto a discussion board that asks THAT question you would probably find the answer you appear to be looking for.
Men and women are equally able to be cheaters and I think the reason is usually the same. A lack of communication and respect for the other person. I’m thinking that people don’t really talk to one another these days.
Men cheat becuase women cheat. They lie about there age they lie about there looks. no woman looks the same when you get her home at night . They go fake brests fake hair, fake nails , everthings fake. and then once there get you married they stop looking after themselves and get fat. OF corse mans gonna cheat.
Oh gosh how does that song go? I predict a riot! lol. Thems’ fighting words Nina, wait til goldsmith sees it.
see now you are wrong madame. I actually agree with miss Nina. 😛
Of course he doesn’t he’s being a tw*t as usual.
Okay, I’m first today! Where do I start. Thats like asking why is the sky blue? Because it is. Men cheat because they can and they get with women that they know will let them get away with it. Its thats simple.
I agree. its the womens fault.